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| this my new place for my new blogging/ updates in life etc.
http://mooglefan.tumblr.com/
xanga served me well but tumblr is more creative and cooler and just generally more awesome.
toodles!
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| today- cloudy
listening- im a cuckoo by belle and sebastian
feeling- tired but jolly and slighty strange
haven't been blogging much since there wasn't much going on and i wanted a break from this as in a way, i wanted to move on from the past which this holds. my last blog was quite depressing but i just wanted to type it here in this little web blog and let everything out. its been nice seeing everyone from uni again and it seems that everyone has chnaged a little bit more optimistic and a tinie bit more crazy, just how i like it. it makes me wonder how i'll chnage next year and i really can't wait to go. yesterday i went to spoons with some people i.e. arne, joe.g, dudley etc etc. which was really nice. slightly awkward with joe.g but its inevitable and i can live with it, i'm glad that our past hasn't effected the people around us, hopefully i'll see them again before they all head off again. the week before i saw the gays aswell, it was nice but i slightly dislike catherine now because i noticed she makes no effort in seeing her friends except franky and i just exclude her now. well im not going to see her in feb for sure! also, saw nickee on wednesday, nice to catch up on each others lives and i hope she makes a decision, but either way i'll be there for her eventhough i wouldn't be much help. thats all i can really remember for what i've done in the past few weeks.also, i got in kent, not sure whether i really want to go there but its seems alright, and i don't mind going there to be honest. since now its new years eve, im going to start reveiwing my year.
overall it has been an amazing year and i want it to keep up for next year:). i don't remember much, but at the beginning of the year i remember doing my january exams and doing well so thats a score and i recieved lots of lovely presents too for christmas last year. 6th form has been so much fun in all of my lessons. Art was so chilled and because i was only in a class of 5, we were all so close and shared some really good times. Maths was hilarious with the asians and i've become really good friends with mohammed and david. though now, david has gone back to his creepy self and i don't really like him anymore for it. creepy david is very creepy and scary. ahaha. and how could i forget chemistry, i've made so many good friends in there this year i.e anish, connor, joe.l jeffery. the practicals has been quite an experience and crazy as well, i don't know how i managed to pass in that subject! hanging about in the resource centre has got some good memories aswell, just random things like bothering lawrence and muffins. hahaha very random but very good memories. i miss that place. in general, 6th form was a big family and i litereally made friends with all the people in my year, its so hard to find a large group of people to be able to talk to whenever. now that im typing this, i do miss it alot now. there was also year 13 leavers ball which was a bit crap, but everyone looked lovely:). during the school days, there were lots of 18th birthday parties as well, i remember connors being really good but that was last year.....i guess this years the parties all kind of merged to one in my head. too many people drunk, too much drama and me being silly. hahahaa.
then there's me and joe.g. this year has been up and down for us, now that i look back on it, it really wasn't that great because i wanted to break up with him every 2 months. oops. but it as been a good experience overall, i guess the good out balanced the negatives. he's taught me alot of things, not just about relationships but guys in general and myself. looking at him, was just like looking at myself, we were doing the same things, doing the wrong things. well now i know where i can be improved adn what i really look for in a guy, i always thought choosing some one similiar is best for you, but i was wrong. i guess they're right when they say opposites attract. i need someone different. he's also taught me that im insensitive and insecure, as the same to him and i need someone that can break the ice. i do thank him for this, and i hope he finds someone better than me, and yes, after i saw him yesterday, i can say im over him.
i went to chicago in the summer which was absolutely amazing! i want to live there when im older, its just the perfect place for me. it was so nice to see jess's face again, she always makes me smile and without her, i wouldn't know what i'll be like now. met some awesome american friends too, and i really wich im going next year but i should be saving up money:(, i do love that place though.
started working at john lewis in october time and hopefully, planning to stay on till when i go to uni, i really enjoy it there and i guess because of this, i made really good friends with matt and kurtsean:). they are lovely people and its so good to have someone on a gap year too! which also brings to dudley. i would say i'm the closest with him, he's so brilliant and funny, for this friendship mk doesn't seem boring and a gap year goes faster too! again, thanks to joe.g, otherwise i would have never met him before.
thats all i can really remember, these are the most signicant part of this year. it has been really jolly, and i beleive i've become a better person. for next year, still carrying on this awesomeness but i will cherish the people around me and i want everyone to be happy. thats all i wish for for next year.
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| I am cold blooded and unworthy.
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| today- cold
feeling- shit
yeah today has been shit everything's gone to shit yeah shit. im sorry img oing to rant but i am feeling really down lately, especially today. i've got two rejections now, 2!!!! fuck, that C in chemsitry costs me big time and at this point i just don't care what uni im in i just want to get into one atm. for that is one reason why i feel shit. another is the fact that im going to be fucking late to my concert tonight as im going to see Arcade fire but my fucker of a friend is going to take me and during rush hour as well! so extra late im not happy about it. also, this morning work has just been poo. also, i hate the fact im still hoked up on joe.g. i mean wtf dude, logically i've moved on but im still emotionally attached to that shit. its driving me insane. seriously, i don't even know why today is so bad, its as if amazing is going to fucking happen any second now like i won a million pounds or something. im sorry for the language of this post but i just need to get my anger/downess on this blog so hopefully it'll stay there and better things will happen.
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| today- cold
listening- somebody to love me by mark ronson
feeling- doubtful
haven't been blogging recetly mainly due to a combination of laziness and business. well its been good up until last week, more specifically friday. i have serious doubts about my future and i don't know where my life is going to and i don't know what i want either. its all a bit fuzz. i blame Sheffield for this because i had my first rejection:(. i ask myself do i really want to do this, and nah not really. well, i don't know. i definately i want to do designing, but in a way i want to design the environments and things, you know, for games and you get that epic scenery at the end of the game like you always do, i want to do that. but i don't know how and im scared im taking up the wrong path for it. i keep changing my mind between Architecture and Landscape Architecture. to be honest i don't really know what both of them really consist. oh im such a fail at decisions, and looking at the prospectus confuses me more becuase they're really never specific about anything. just the general information fo the fools. life a year ago seem more simplier. on top of that, i haven't spoken to joe.g since that saturday, which was....3 weeks ago. Marvelous. so yes, thats gone a bit downhill too and its come to a point that even a text seem absurd. i honestly tried to be good friends but his lack of effort doesn't help and so even friends seem to be extremely difficult. hence, i am trying to move on, focusing on this confusing work/life i have ahead of me. on the brighter note, i've been spending a fair amount of time with my actual friends which was lovely. in a way, i like this single life of mine as i noticed some people backed away when i was taken. how odd. o well. thats enough ranting for me now, i've procastinated enough and should really do some more colouring, though i'll probably read instead as i am addicted. ciao.
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